Whether you don’t have many friends because you moved, left family to live elsewhere, or just can’t depend on the family you have,
Here are 3 steps to help you survive the toddler years on your own.
Build your own village
Go out and meet people. Meet other moms who want to go on play dates. It is so easy to pull out your phone in uncomfortable situations, like having to socialize with other parents while your kids are playing together.
If you have no desire to, that is okay too. You can build your own village in other ways; but if this sounds good to you, it’s simple!
Make it a point to introduce yourself too, not just your child. Say, this is “Olivia, and I’m her mom, Brie.”
Don’t be embarrassed to put yourself out and start a conversation. The easiest topic to discuss is the common ground you share, your kids!
Most of the time, the other mom wants to be friends too.
I made some great friends when I first started doing this, and at the very least, had a nice conversation.
If you have child care, go on coffee dates without the kids. It’s so important to have some kind of social life to balance out the isolation of motherhood.
Make a schedule.
This is crucial—You need a routine when you have kids! I can see the mothers with older kids nodding yes.
Side note: kids need routines to feel safe, too.
In my household, I know that feeding everyone under my roof is mentally draining. Coming up with an idea that is nutritious, meets everyone’s expectations, and is affordable, seems impossible at times.
Finding the recipe, shopping for the ingredients, prepping, cooking, storing, and cleaning is extremely time consuming.
We all know this struggle so well, and yet we don’t simplify it. Well, until now.
-Plan ahead all of your family dinners for the next 3 weeks. This equates to 21 meals—but it could be less if you have leftovers, order takeout, or dine out.
Here is an example: week one on Monday is pizza night; week 2 on Monday is steak and potatoes; Week 3 on Monday is Spaghetti.
Now do this for each day of the week, for the next 3 weeks. In other words, implement 21 easy meals that your family likes.
With this rotation, you’re not getting bored of the same foods—but more importantly, it will only get easier the more that you do it! Click here for my free printable version of the
Change your mindset.
The most challenging part about raising kids without help is that you don’t have anyone to delegate your responsibilities to. You’re in charge of it all.
You may have the help of your significant other, or you may find that your both neglecting your relationship or marriage.
Not having an outlet to help face the planning, appointments, child care, daily routines, commuting, sports and activities, meals, housekeeping, and so much more, can put bridges in your relationship with your spouse; but it doesn’t have to. So ask yourself this, what if I replaced the “I have to’s” with “I get to’s”?
“I get to make dinner for my family tonight because we have food. I get to watch my kids play in a safe home. I get to help my children learn skills because I am skilled. I get to choose my attitude and my mindset.”
This won’t be easy at first, but if you make a conscious effort to use this inner dialogue in your everyday life, I promise that it will make a positive impact on how you cope and react to things.
You may not have a village now, but you will be able to reflect one day and see that you got through the toddlers years alone, and that you’re a stronger mother because of it.
Follow along the Mom Blog @Treasurecoastmom on Instagram.